I was 18, three months pregnant, and skinny as a rail! I actually weighed less than my teenager does now, and she is two inches shorter than me and in great shape. I loved the dress, which my mom made for me... it was tea length and a brocade. In the picture, I'm holding a tissue and have a red nose because I essentially bawled through most of the ceremony. After the wedding, which was just a big damn mess, we walked around town and then went back to my mom's, where I fell asleep on the couch and he crashed on the recliner. Inside me that day, nothing but chaos.
Isn't it funny how even when we know something is wrong, we will still carry through with it if we think it is the thing we are "supposed" to do? I felt like I was supposed to marry my daughter's dad, and it was disastrous. Sadly, I knew it would be from the start. Marrying my current husband, though his career has made it challenging many times, is something I was and am so positive about. He is the best thing that ever happened to me and continues to be, every day.
Sometimes I wish I could redo the whole wedding thing. Have the perfect dress, perfect hair, good photos... In fact once I planned an entire vow renewal down to the favors, but when hubby said to start booking things, I said Nah!! We had our wedding, and it wasn't what the wedding industry says we were "supposed" to have, but it was wonderful and it was enough to last a lifetime. And when I look at pictures of us now, we're no longer quite so thin (170 and holding!) and no longer young (36, thank you very much), but we are so - damn - happy.
Married 11 years, together for 15, and this is it.
I hope you feel as blessed as I do, and if you don't, I hope you will find the second chance I did.