Friday, May 17, 2013
Crazy busy - guess why?
Today is my last day in my current position. I have started a company, rented an office, built a website, and got myself two clients, one of whom is my current employer. My brother wrote up my LLC and my brother in law is helping me through an application process I won't bother getting into now, but could be pretty lucrative. I can work for myself doing the parts of my current job that I love and letting go of the rest. It's a big step, and it's been both sudden and "coming for a long time" at the same time.
If you asked me what led up to this giant shift - this ability to finally let go and take the next step, I think you'd be surprised at the answer.
No, really, I'm serious.
A year ago (okay, 15 months ago), I ordered a ukulele as a 36th birthday gift to myself. I wanted some music back in my life, and to have a hobby while my husband was deployed later that year. Then I played an open mic and met some people, and started a club, and became part of the amazing music scene here in Kalamazoo. I joined an online ukulele community.
In all this, I saw and met and got to know all these people who are, or are trying to, lead challenging and interesting and creative lives. A guy doing life coaching. A girl teaching yoga. A guy who raises dogs. A woman going back to school for massage in what she thinks of as her middle age but we all know it isn't. So, so many people working towards and achieving making a living with their music. I've watched them be dogged on their next steps, even though they were hard, and so I was able to see when their path opened up in front of them. I watched them seem to leap away from security, bobble a bit, and settle firmly on their feet.
And I realized I could do it too.
So I did. And I am.
The funny thing is that I could have done it any time. My husband is wonderful, and supportive both emotionally and financially. It took seeing people living more creative lives to make it feel achievable.
So.... I'm super busy right now. And I miss you. I may or may not have more time. I think I may. But I wanted to let you know what's shakin.
And yes, for those keeping up, my daughter called and left me a token voicemail on Mother's day. I texted her the next morning and she hasn't responded. But I am in a pretty okay place with it at this point. Although the last time I said that I had a meltdown shortly after. So I'm taking it as it comes and trying not to be a nutcase about the whole thing, while still dealing with the rejection and loss. Such is life.